The commencement speech, “This is Water,” delivered at Kenyon College in 2005 by the late American author, David Foster Wallace, begins with a short story:

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, “Morning, boys, how’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, “What the hell is water?”

Overall, his speech reflects on the challenges of daily life, the importance of being aware of our surroundings, and the value of empathy. He argues that the most important aspect of education is learning how to think and choosing what we pay attention to.

The act of observing, of noticing, is one of the first crucial steps in making desired changes in ourselves. We’re often so steeped in our day to day that we’re unaware of the very systems in which we exist. One of the benefits of working with a coach is not that they’re an older, wiser fish with more experience, but that their perspective is outside of the bowl itself. A good coach offers observations from a vantage point separate from your frame of reference and can work with you to identify exercises that help expand your viewpoint as well.

The last time you felt stuck when working towards an important goal, what did you notice about what was getting in your way? How did your body react? Do you see any a larger pattern? Is something so ingrained that you consider it “just the way you are?” If you could wave a magic wand and change things, what different possibilities exist? Are any of those more appealing and able to help you to achieve your goals?

If I could lift you into the air so that you could glimpse inside your own bowl, what might you see?