Letting go of things that drain our energy can be one of the most challenging yet beneficial things we can do for our mental, emotional, and physical health. Whether it’s a toxic relationship, a stressful job, or unhealthy, self-defeating habits, these things can leave us feeling exhausted, angry, anxious, and/or depressed.

But letting go is hard. Where do you even start?

First, identify the source. This may be a person, a situation, a habit, or even your own thoughts and emotions. It’s important to be specific and clear about what’s causing the issue. You can practice mindfulness or meditation and/or journal about your feelings and experiences to help you gain perspective and clarity on what you want to let go of. Maybe talk to someone you trust to gain a new perspective and provide you with support. You don’t have to go it alone.

Next, just acknowledge and accept the situation, feeling, or habit. Don’t judge yourself for being in it or having it, but admit to yourself that it’s no longer serving you. Then you can work to understand why you’re holding onto it in the first place. Is it a coping mechanism? A learned behavior? Someone whose feelings you don’t want to hurt? Someone you’re afraid of? Understanding why it’s hard to let go can help you address it more effectively.

After understanding what it is and why you’ve stuck with it, take some time to evaluate the impact. How is it affecting your mental, emotional, and physical well-being? Is it worth continuing to hold onto? There may be a number of feelings that impede your ability to reduce or remove that source of friction in your life. Guilt, fear, resentment, a sense of responsibility, fomo, these are emotions you might need to work through to get to a better place.

In fact, throughout this process, it’s possible you’ve been weaving back and forth amongst the various phases of the Kübler-Ross change curve model, also more commonly know as the five stages of grief. Know that this is normal, and don’t get discouraged!

Once you’ve made the decision that you really would be better off without this drain, set goals to help you stay motivated and focused on moving forward. It can often be helpful to share those goals with someone to create a sense of accountability. Taking action to address the energy drain might mean setting boundaries with a toxic person, giving up a long-time relationship, reducing stress at work, finding a new job, or changing some long-held habits that served you well at one point, etc. If you’re trying to let go of a habit, it can be helpful to replace it with a new, positive habit that serves you better.

While you’re working on getting rid of your energy drain, remember to practice self-care and be kind with yourself. Take time to prioritize your own physical and emotional needs, such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

If you find yourself struggling to let go of something on your own, or with just the support of friends, it can be helpful to work with a professional. It might be worth seeking out the assistance of a therapist, doctor, or coach (depending on what’s causing your energy drain) who can provide you with guidance and support.

Letting go of things that drain us isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it in the long run. So, take a deep breath, identify what’s draining you, and start to let it go.